Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
you win again, gameday.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Randomize
