Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Are my feet made of real feet?
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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