his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
