At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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