Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
