Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
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