Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
This girl is more easily done than said...
Can Purell be used as lube?
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
My feet surprised me
Randomize
