The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Randomize
