im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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