At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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