your room smells of hookers.
And success
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Randomize
