all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
