pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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