dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
