This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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