Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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