I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I did not marry a roomba.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
