Do you still have your period?
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Randomize
