I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
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