fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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