Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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