who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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