you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize