I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
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