Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize