I want you more than these girls want KFC
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Congratulations! We have a period
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
