I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
