Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
