Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
As shirtless as possible
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
