Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
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