Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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