How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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