next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
