I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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