sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
