Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
