Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize
