Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
