my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
