So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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