She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Randomize
