FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
You need a sexual gate keeper
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Randomize