I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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