His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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