I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
