Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
