apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Randomize
