oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
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