i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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