If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
