is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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