I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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