I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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