He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
