weddingsv make me drug and hornr
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
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