Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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