Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
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