Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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